zdfs
amateur everything.

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May
19
I run through the world, thinking about tomorrow

I run through the world, thinking about tomorrow

No one really considers what it really costs to do the thing you dream about. Vida and I are leaving tomorrow for our fabled 12-18 month world tour, the first leg starting in Valladolid, Mexico, and making our way south to Buenos Aires.
2 min read
Apr
21
A black and white picture of 20th street in Joplin, Missouri.

I came to Missouri to write poetry after 20 years

It wasn't my first choice to be a software engineer. I wanted to be something else. Something more romantic. Something that had to be earned. Something that other people told you was true about yourself.
2 min read
Feb
27
The movie poster for Everything Everywhere All At Once

You forked the multiverse and feel bad about it, now what

When horrible things happen, we don't know what it means. We can only guess and conjecture and beat ourselves up over things we thought we could control. But it could be, with any luck in how all the atoms collided, it could be the very best thing that ever fucking happened to us.
7 min read
Feb
15
Eggs with little hand-draw faces on them. Some are nervous, others confused or laughing or scared.

To save money, maybe you should skip breakfast

Is a real headline in the WSJ. Do you ever find yourself just fucking disgusted with capitalism? A real human–
3 min read
Feb
08
On buying music that once upon a time, I couldn't afford

On buying music that once upon a time, I couldn't afford

Back when iTunes launched in January of 2001, I was in college. A lot of my friends were in bands,
6 min read
Jan
31
Something's changed and I'm not sure what

Something's changed and I'm not sure what

There's this guy in Santa Barbara. I run into him at the coffee shops. Sometimes Handlebar. Sometimes Dune. I've been
4 min read
Jan
20
Binary code (zeros and ones) but some of them are colored red to form a heart.

This is not the future I wanted

I remember when I first began to learn how to build things with code. Must have been 2002–2003. I
4 min read
Dec
30
A cute hedgehog held up by a human hand against fall foliage and berries

In my next life, may I be a well cared for hedgehog

I've been playing around with the idea of reincarnation lately. I'm not a scientist or a philosopher and I'm sure there are all kinds of problems with everything I'm going to write, but let's go with it because it's interesting from an academic sense.
5 min read
Dec
14
Very superstitious/writing's on the wall

Very superstitious/writing's on the wall

It's been a rough year. For me, and for my people I know and love. Cancer of the brain. Cancer of the breast. Herniated discs. Surgeries. Loss of jobs. And every time something happened this year, I found myself reaching for old patterns of survival, prayer being one of them.
3 min read
Dec
06
What good is it to gain the whole world but lose

What good is it to gain the whole world but lose

Being poor and then being successful, the experience has made everything so clear to me. We're doing it all wrong. And I can't stop thinking how to do it better. Maybe not for the entire world, maybe change just starts with me, but I have no idea what that should look like and I need to know.
6 min read